A note from the cancer rollercoaster

Writing from a Starbucks in Tamarac, FL:

We learned last week that my mom knew she had breast cancer for at least 2 years, and hid it from everyone in her life: she continued to work at a doctor’s office and volunteer at the hospital, and never sought treatment for herself, even as she watched it grow and spread.

It has metasisized into her bones and lungs. She’s on oxygen, and signed herself up for hospice care 4 days ago. She’s deteriorated every day, and is bed-bound and unable to communicate much. Today she actually ate something (she hadn’t eaten or done much else but sip a few drops of water this week), but she is dying. We are doing very intense care for her, along with the hospice nurses.

There is much I could say about her choices, her anger and fear, and the wild emotions that have poured into my heart about this all. There will be time for those words later.

For today, while I have a brief respite here at St. Arbucks, I simply ask for your continued prayers. She actually allowed me to read Ps. 23 to her yesterday, and pray over her, but is keeping God and everyone else at bay in many other areas. She needs Jesus. My sister needs Him.

And I need Him, too.

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